What history teaches us,,,,, or what it should.

Salt River Wild Mustang Mare and Foal .... 2016 Butcher Jones the early years

In 2015 my world changed, for the better. I was introduced to the Salt River Wild Horses, I had no idea there were wild horses in Arizona. I've lived here for over 2 decades. As a horse lover from the age of 4, had I known, my adult life may have been different.

However, what we learn as we age, everything happens for a reason. In 2015 and for the next 4 years, I immersed myself as a volunteer to help fight for them. In August of that year, they were at risk of roundup. Along with other dedicated volunteers, not only did we enjoy our days on the river among beautiful family bands, we advocated in many ways, in the field, coordinating marches, attending government presentations, showing up at the House, documenting the bands, monitoring when sick or injured, creating bonds and working together to fight to protect them. We saw and experienced joy and also painful loss - some days were exhausting and could be brutal especially in the summer months. But I would not change that time for anything ..

No one ever knows what anyone of us does day in and day out. Every day there were issues, either horses being hit by cars, sick with colic, threatened by round up, people harassing the bands and foals. The crux of the work was to build a solid 501c3 non-profit while raising awareness of the risk to the horses. There were lost horses, foals that needed intervention, and none of it was being documented by anyone outside the group, except for news coverage on a slow news day or if there had been a tragic horse accident.. The media coverage is a double edge sword, on one hand it increased awareness but it also increased scrutiny of the group. Everyone thought they could do it better, except no one was doing anything.

This is what kept them safe. And there is so much more to this story. However, I want to share at this moment what Ive learned and my experience and why I advocate.

I was obsessed and spent every day I could at the river building friendships and learning about the wild mustangs, on the river and the cause. The round ups of wild American mustangs began decades ago... it was worse than I ever could imagine. As a former "human or architecture photographer", I lacked skill photographing moving wild horses or any animal. My images then versus now differ mostly in quality, ......but always worked to capture the bond, so my composition of shots is the same. I want to create an ethereal magic and illustrate their sentience.

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My first images I had to improvise. I did not have a lens for wildlife, and even though good gear -not a super fast camera. So my images, often blurry, or the horses were so small in a scene. I was determined to capture what I was witnessing first hand. They taught me how to be in nature as a silent observer, how to be patient, to be calm, and relaxed,, not who I am in the human world. I wanted to figure out how to capture their emotions.

Because they were at risk, the best way I could illustrate their story and the importance of awareness, was to take pictures, add my words and invite the viewer up close and personal. I wanted people to feel. So I focused on the bonds, families, how much they were like human family's. To capture this, if others saw it maybe they would fight for them as hard as we fought. I cropped, to the point it affected the quality of the photos. Many edits were only 1/10th of the image. But, they looked ok on a screen and achieved my goal to capture emotion and evoke feeling and empathy.

To my surprise, it worked and soon friends I grew up with and met traveling, were commenting on the photos and on their love of horses.  I wrote poetry or a more journalistic piece to tell their story to accompany the picture. Photos alone for me were not enough. It had to feel real, raw in an effort to make people laugh, cry, get angry, feel warm and fuzzy, something I wanted to gift the horses an experience and their story brought to life.

I chose bonds always, if the horses were not touching or interacting, with one another, I focused on portraits of when they curiously looked over at me. The power they have is priceless and can't be put into words in a 2 dimensional image.

And, if my work can't help them, and help the public who have no idea what is happening, then my work is meaningless. I don't care about likes, I dont care if people find my images technically perfect, or even pretty. I only care if people see something that is so powerful it moves them to feel resulting in them wanting to help. It's not a contest, my photos are only for the horses. This is why I would stop sharing, or posting, or even editing. Every image I edit is my personal journey with them, a private moment I feel. If during my time, I capture their fear, or sorrow, (like the horses emoted while I was in Onaqui after the round ups) I shut down.

With the Salts again at risk, it is hard for me to edit or look at these photographs. Because I know just how serious and my fear. if I acknowledge it, terrifies me what could happen to them.

For years I didn't share the hundreds of photos I took in a week. The reason,,,, well seeing wildlife isn't always pretty,,, or as strong and invincible as pictures make wild horses seem. There is death, there is suffering, there is loss. Watching all of the above became too much. I would connect with a horse, photograph, write about it, then it would get hit by a car or die of colic or be shot, or other human caused deaths. I felt cursed. I would stop visiting the river, to walk among them. And then I would stop coming home to edit the photos of my day with the families, because the pain I felt staring at every face,,, knowing the desecration to the herds caused by man.

This image of the mare and foal, makes me sad. Since this image, in 2016 they have both passed, the foal from colic a few months after this photo. The mare died while giving birth to what would have been her 4th roal. I knew them both very well, and was with the band and others during the foals final days. I never share photos or have not in the past of the mustangs we have lost. They are archived and my time with them is in my heart.

However, there is a point I feel compelled to make. I'm happy I knew and was able to spend so much time in their presence, documenting their unique and special personalities. I witnessed the most fierce mother, and her effervescent charismatic baby,,,, When we get to know the subject of our art, it takes on a completely different meaning, and this will breath life into an otherwise 2 dimensional picture.

My photography then was not as precise ,, I had so much to learn. . The pictures were not quite the artistic image of pure beauty and perfection that would do any of them the justice I feel they deserve. Of these two, while I did crop to tell their story, many photos were of the family dynmic with the band. Peaches was a fighter during her last days. A foal of a very strong resilient band, she fought until she could fight no more. The BJ years for any photographer, mostly the advocates were special. THose days are no longer, so for those of us who were there in the beginning we all have priceless golden hoof prints imprinted forever on our hearts.

Cream was a fighter, Peaches her first foal and this mother child bond was one of the strongest I've seen on the river then and since. Peaches was an extension of her, and my pictures, like anyone of the ButcherJones bands, were not diminished by the road, the cars, the picnic tables or people in the backgound. THey were a vision that transcended time and space. Her siblings fought to keep her moving, but the colic was too far and she had a double impaction. She was my first big loss, and so with her loss and heart heavy, my  involvement as boots on the ground .. became less and less.

What I learned through history with my time on the river, is not just how to photograph wild life, but also how to monitor, watch behaviors, it has helped me with my work with domestics and dogs. Because to truly watch is to listen with our eyes what they are telling us, not being able to speak.

I choose now to not just edit, but look, and observe the nature around them. To use it to be part of an image, to wait and be quiet and let them be so I can capture that perfect nuzzle, or a whinny or a yawn, or a kiss or a kick to a foal not behaving, or to a stallion that won't leave mother mare alone, to watch the bachelors bond after being kicked out of their families. And sadly even when they cry, because to document any animal - the only way to truly understand and tell their story is to experience all of it.

Photographing wild horses in the trees, with shadows, so many obstacles, it becomes a craft to truly illustrate their world, not how we think it should be,,, We want to experience wild, that is what it is, wild is unforgiving, it is raw, it is telling and whispers secrets to us to survive but only if we are aware and we listen and watch in silence. I still aim to capture the bonds, the families, and have learned to use the trees,  branches and shadows, to make something unique. We all have a style, we all have our way of telling our story, we all have our experiences with things that change our life and teach us to be better.

So in my parting thought, our government needs to do better, people who hate wild life need to be better, people who hate others who are fighting to save them, need to work harder to have a meeting of the minds.

Because guess what, I guarantee watching this mare fight 3 stallions to stay by her foal for a week as she fought for her life, showed all of us why.  Why we all should fight for what we love and believe in, even if it means, we put ourselves out there and risk pain, and vulnerability.

Horses are prey animals, vulnerable, and right now if you think you know what is happening to wild horses, I guarantee it is 1000 times worse. IF you think our government cares (either side) neither does, about our land, wildlife, wild horses or any wild or living creature. That includes us.We as humans should work together - learn from history, so we stop making the same mistakes. This is crucial, to not only our environment, our planet, animals, but also to us.

Thank you Cream and thank you Peaches, I dont have it in me to read and share the poem I wrote when we lost you. But I hope this image of you and your mom help others to feel what is needed in order to keep all the other wild horses safe ....Because just like us .. to them FAMILY IS EVERYTHING ... and this is why so many people fight so hard. Because family is not always of blood, or human, but are those who make us feel alive and are there no matter what, never judging and filling us to make us feel whole.

This is what these mustang families have done for me, please research.

Hundreds and thousands of horses are sent to slaughter and of those it includes wild horses. The greed is exponential and they are dying by the thousands, because they have become a scapegoat for all the destruction done by man, and man alone. The American Wild Mustangs, are far more valuable in their mere existence in what they teach without words for those who take the time to listen, and not allow false narratives to cloud judgement.

History, it is imperative to make our future history better than our repetitivve past and the landscape of our present. Before it is too late.